I avoid mirrors,
Having internalized all the mean things heard, seen, and experienced.
I prefer not to see me,
So I do not understand how you can and smile.
It is not the hatred of self,
Nor the lack of love for self.
There is the mistake many make.
It is being trained that you should not love yourself.
I wonder at times why that mattered,
Why a child should be denied that simple thing.
Happy, carefree, love of self.
The confidence and ability to grow and thrive.
Not looking at self is no mean feat.
It takes years of training.
Yet when we do we notice some things that we did not before.
We see some of what we were taught to give up, things we did not know we possessed.
We gave up hope and positivity,
The promise that the future will bring good.
We released our hold on confidence and assertiveness,
Well trained through it all.
Often we will not see what we lost,
Until someone gives even a fraction of it back.
A glimpse of hope through anothers words.
The light of approval in someone’s eyes.
So distant are our memories of these,
That we are uncertain what to do.
Yet more-so do we see what all was taken,
Because there it is, glimpsed before us.
If this is my last day,
My sadness is for the emptiness that did not get filled.
Not because I did not try or do my best,
I did not fail to love and cherish.
I learned too well the lessons taught,
Soaked it up like a sponge.
Now to undo the damage wrought,
That I did not even realize was.
If your sad, lost and alone,
Do not think it all for naught.
Look up to the sky and see the stars,
Perhaps even the Northern Lights.
In the darkness I always found,
Aurora Borealis listened well.
Share your words and shed a tear,
Then resolve that you will live.
Within your mind you must be special,
The royalty and treasure beyond measure.
Value yourself above all you hear and see.
Yet hold humility and kindness as good guides.
When you have dusted yourself off,
The destination is in doubt,
All you have is yourself to count on,
Remember to keep dreaming, hoping and doing.
It is easy to say things for others to do,
Advise and counsel is a breeze.
Far harder is it to follow your own words.
Lighting your own path.
Cherish the child,
Risk not their future on your bad mood.
Love the friend,
For we all shall stumble.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make,
Accept that they are things you have done.
You are not the sum of your mistakes,
Nor are you the total of your victories.
You are a very special individual,
The combination of which there is no duplicate.
Even twins are of themselves unique.
Allow yourself to shine because many others may not.
Yet open that fist into a giving palm,
Fear not the future will bring pain.
You have survvived a storm,
You will again.
Now try to make positivity the norm.
Do not deny your doubt or fear.
Just accept there is more to life than you have known.
Reach for it and your dreams may yet be answered.